Tonight, my strategy for battling fatigue and frustration is listening to Regina Spektor in a pretty dress and drinking tea. I've already watched one Canadian chick flick ("Sabah" - quite good, really) and am trying to talk myself into going outside and walking to the east village to have champagne with my scene partner, the fabulous Vin Kridakorn, with whom I auditioned for The Actors Studio today. How did it go? How do we feel about it? We're asking you, because we don't really know.
However, the east village feels very far away right now. My forearms and shins are covered in bruises from two heavenly days of filming martial arts stunts for a book trailer: "Original Sin," produced by Escape Goat Pictures. Tomorrow is the first day in almost three months that I haven't had to be somewhere/leave for somewhere at 5 or 6am, and all that's on the books is one appointment with one student and one hour or so of recording some voice over for the trailer. Do I get a day of summer?!?!?
Escape Goat Pictures ran an impressive set, with only 3 guys doing EVERYTHING from setup to tear down to 2-camera filming to choreography to makeup to sound. They filmed the entire thing in 3 days, and will finish the entire project after only 2 days of post/edit. Um, amazing. It really does inspire me to see how much people are capable of accomplishing when they set themselves to it.
However, tonight I don't have any desire to set myself at anything. Except maybe a jug of ice cream. Or a handsome Scotsman (see picture). Or, even better, a bottle of scotch. OR - a bottle of scotch WITH a handsome Scotsman.
In a way that's what's so beautiful about acting. It's never the same thing twice. The preparation that worked perfectly last night literally might not give you anything this morning, and the part you auditioned for might not be the part you get. What you thought might be your big break might be a flop - or it might be your big break. You never know! It's so weird! It's so unpredictable and exciting. The main thing is to be yourself and enjoy it, and once in a while to do some kung fu stunts.
In sum, I'd like to say to all you artists out there: you're pretty awesome. What we do is a roller coaster, but SOMEONE'S GOT TO DO IT. We are blessed with the task of actualizing and acting out the impossible, not just for ourselves but for everyone. Some days it is glorious beyond glory. Some days we feel used and abused and bruised. Some days I feel a bit foolish. When you find yourself questioning where the love is in your difficult day, remember the joy, passion, bravery and adventure of it all. Every step forward is, in fact, a step forward - and every audition, whether you get it or not, is positive progress. At least that's what I'm telling myself tonight.
Here's to you, artists! Here's to sticking your chin out, half hoping you get punched, half hoping you get kissed. As my Dad says, you can't expect a golden ring every time.
It can't have been all that bad - look at us smiling after...