Note To Self

I am having one of those weeks where I am tired and busy and beginning to succumb to those kinds of thoughts whose spidery tendrils whisper and grab at you from within most dark and twisty of nebulas, Desperation. Fellow actors, I know that you know the galaxy I mean. It is a tiny vortex, always accessible through a sigh, where sight is distorted and deep draughts of the drink Compromise are cooked up by a broken bartender.

Dali's Rabbit Hole from Alice in Wonderland

We none of us like to admit that we frequent the place (it is rather the unfashionable end of the universe). Going there is a nasty habit we pretend not to have, a source of shame, and we try to hide our furtive trips to its shadowy doorstep. But we go there, hypnotized, pathologically comparing ourselves to each other and beating ourselves up for things we didn't do instead of acknowledging the hard work we've done and the successes we've accomplished.

And what's nuts is that we're usually convinced it's the only way - a required pit stop on our trip through life's lessons, an unavoidable toll bridge from point A to point B. As if we can't just steer our starship around it. As if Desperation is everywhere no matter what, like dark matter or god particles or whatever the heck the universe is actually made of. We float into this gross galaxy each time we worry about jobs, auditions, appearance, or the future, and do not remember to breathe deep and take care.

Tonight, thanks to a mentor who has saved my life multiple times (my Dad), I had a bit of a reality-check and intervention within my own mind. I woke myself up on the threshold of that smokey hole and shook off it's weak gravitational pull. I thought I'd share some of the basic things I was reminded of tonight that lifted my gaze from the netherworld of doubt and worry. A simple note to self reminded me that making choices should always be guided by the simple truths that any 6-year-old worth their salt knows implicitly.

Here's what I came up with:

• Money is never a good reason to do anything you are uncomfortable with.
• Be legitimate. Be professional. Be your best, bravest, and brightest.
• Avoid slippery slopes.
• Don't break your mother's heart.
• Stay lovely. Practice loveliness. Look for it everywhere!
• Enjoy life and be thankful for it.
• Treat others as you wish to be treated. No exceptions.
• If something isn't right, it isn't right, and it isn't right. Do the right thing. 

 As my Daddy jolted me by saying, "If God wouldn't do it, don't do it." A tall order to be sure, but a good thing to aim for. I plan on using this simple note to self to help me avoid falling down the rabbit hole next time.

Fellow voyagers, there is no reason why we should let the dark side of the force overwhelm us. It doesn't have to be complicated. Why waste away in a black hole when you can just...not go there?